holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
