Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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