Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm really into asian looking animals
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
