Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
only you would photoshop your dick
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Randomize
