Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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