Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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