For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
