I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I FOUND THE LEGS
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
