everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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