no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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