He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Plan B is the new Plan A
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
