Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
