you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i think my cat just said my name.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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