you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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