Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
