I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
