Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize