Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
