11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
