Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
