Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
