YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
