Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Found the puke drawer
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
