this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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