You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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