after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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