whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
