There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
