I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
