I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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