After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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