Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I will be naked everywhere
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
