Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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