I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
