You really coming over, don't trick.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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