they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
