if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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