sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
