Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
