last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
please don't ironically join a cult
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