fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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