And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
