I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
