I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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