I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize