Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
