In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
