i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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