got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
