He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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