He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
