drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
